Dead's Platonic Lust-In
Holy crap! She's kissing a girl!
A bouncing baby boy!
Hey! Only I get to laugh!
*Sigh*!
We did a big poo!
Power to the motherfucking people!
Disapproving! Always!
Look kids! Big Ben! Parliament!
Mmmmmmmmm!
Millions of peaches! Peaches for me!
Maybe it's time to move on from the moose thing!
Get a fucking job!
With one 'f'!
Capital knockers!
Flaming galah!
Get down!
(Peter) Parker!
Not worth the effort!
Laziest cunt I know!

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The Devil is inside you - Jump up & clap your hands!
Tantric onanism!
Fuck off, kid!
Three men walk into a pub!
Faaaalll o-on meee-e-e-ee!


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I have been

...neglecting this blog. I am a shit blog daddy! Well, as I've mentioned on here before, I have mostly moved to a blog on Vox. And it is this :

subideal.vox.com

Recently, I have posted my (non-definitive, and wholly unsatisfying) list of top twenty favouritest songs. So harkit! This is just one of many advantages of Vox over 20Sux: you can post streaming mp3s in your entries; and - for no discernable reason - no-one seems to give a yellow rubbery fuck about copyright infringement. Or so it seems at least.

The main disadvantage of Pox is that folk who aren't signed up as members can't comment. This is a shame, as I am rather fond of getting unexpected comments from kittenfuckers after I'm disparaging about their home town. I crave the abuse.

So, just to keep things ticking over on this spam-addled sickburp of a platform, here's my most recent entry wot I've just cut-and-pasted straight from Vox :

Some queries from the last few days, and also one unrelated solution :

Queries

  • What possessed someone to write 'Smurfs are the kings of toytown' on a toilet roll dispenser in a motorway services gents?
  • A student in an Oxford branch of Tesco eyes up two DVDs priced at £2.74 apiece. Now, which of 'The Karate Kid' and 'xXx' do you think will be regarded as more 'ironic' in the eyes of his peers?
  • An article from The Sun is drawn to my brother's attention. It claims that Charlotte Church and Gavin Henson are thinking twice about their wedding venue, since it has been brought to their attention that it is a known dogging spot. It is - in fact - the same venue in which my brother was married last year. Whilst discussing this with his parents, it transpires that our mother already knew it was a dogging spot, before my brother was married even. Which begs the question - exactly how did my mother know this?
  • Why did that chap in the 'zany' orange jester's hat push some stranger into the river outside a bustling pub? I think the answer was touched on as the poor drenched soul climbed out of the water, shouting "What fucking cunt did that?"
  • A further query, relating to the one immediately above : In the heated debate that followed, the culprit protested "It could have been worse". Now, I don't think I'd take overly kindly to being waterlogged, embarrassed in front of dozens of people, having possessions (including my mobile phone) ruined, and exposed to the risk of Weil's disease at the hands of some pissed-up bottom-feeder. So, I have to ask, what did this chap and his slightly skewed sense of social responsibility have in mind exactly? How could it have been worse? Well, the river was not comprised of hydrochloric acid, nor indeed lava, I suppose. So really, in the face of this irrefutable line of reasoning, I think that the victim should have shown more grace, and allowed the man in the 'crazy' hat unfettered carnal access to his girlfriend.

Solution

  • If I spend all afternoon with my port side facing the sun, it will balance out my current two-tone colouring.
10.4.07 23:15
 


To date 10 Comment(s)     TrackBack-URL


BalancingAct (11.4.07 07:24)
I was worried about you. Thank you for dropping by the old neighborhood to let us know that you are well enough to set fingertips to keys.
Unfortunately it's the very late end to a very long and challenging day and I am not able to focus my eyes well enough to read you post--which is a delight to read, as are all of your posts--but I will read it sometime tomorrow.
God willing.
I still owe you an email. I haven't forgotten, except I might have forgotten how to compose a letter. I may work on that tomorrow as well.
Again, though, I'm really very happy to see that you posted. You're such a nice Lemonsquash!


doctortripswitch / Website (11.4.07 17:33)
Good stuff.

I just don't know about that Vox thing. I'm not keen on the closed shop.


foxinthesnow / Website (12.4.07 09:32)
Apparently they're going to make it a loving and open shop soon, where strangers from the outside can comment.


doctortripswitch / Website (12.4.07 13:27)
Ooo. Maybe I'll open another abortive blog.


c-side / Website (13.4.07 13:55)
Great to see you, albeit briefly. I've ventured onto Vox to keep an eye on you, but I did object to having to create an account just to comment (I did but under jurest!) but not sure how to put my 20six website in on replies. Less technical the better for me I'm afraid.


pog (17.4.07 11:45)
Who's jurest?


lemonsquash / Website (17.4.07 13:26)
Fnar.

And thank you for your kind sentiments, lovely Actress - the only person here yet to see through me.

TroctorDipswitch - Foxi got there (five days) before me. But yes, you should join! The ability to post streaming media would benefit a blog like yours more than your average blogger, n'est-ce pas?

C-noevil - these barriers will be torn down soon, Odin-willing.


colonel knowledge (17.4.07 20:40)
That's some pretty good shee-id over there about golf caddies.

And there's nothing those no-goodniks at Vox can do to stop me saying so here.

I'll bid you a good evening.


razorz (4.8.07 23:34)
I thought the reason the man with the orange hat pushed the other man in the river was because the other man (the one who got pushed, not the one who pushed) was the kind of man who goes round shouting that people are cunts. But no! It was because the man with the orange hat was a cunt! What a twisted narrative you do weave! And how out of date this blog entry seems to be...


Gorilla Bananas / Website (13.1.08 14:22)
"Well, the river was not comprised of hydrochloric acid, nor indeed lava, I suppose."

I assume he meant that the river might have been infested with crocodiles. The one where I live is full of 'em. However there was no excuse for throwing him in. Had I been there, I would have sat on the bounder until he begged for mercy.

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