http://20six.co.uk/lemonsquash
powered by
20six.co.uk
|
|
It has been
...a curious and eventful few days. I went to a club on Thursday night. Every small town has a grotty club like this, that the locals cannot speak of without being accompanied by a knowing smile. It is a cheesetastrophe. But somehow the place where fun is had, and happenings happen. I was talking to Big-Eyed Irish Cutie. She has not been mentioned before, but I've known her since I've moved here. It transpired that we both liked each other. And that she was with boyfriend no more. I offered to kiss her. She said that she didn't think it was really the time or the place. I entirely respected that. But we thought that maybe Something Happening might well be A Good Idea. She texted me the following morning (I hadn't given her my phone number), and began 'Howdy there cowboy' (hee-hee - I like being called 'cowboy').
All good so far, right ? It wouldn't be a lemonsquash entry if things didn't go a bit skewiff, tho... (How does one spell 'skewiff' ?)
We spent most of Saturday together, in a group. We went to pubs. We went cliff-jumping. She gave me a seaweed bath. We discussed terrible song lyrics. And I got to see her in a bikini. It was all good.
Then I went to work. After my shift ended at midnight, I went to a party on the beach, complete with DJ, bonfire, people going skinny-dipping etc. Big-Eyed Irish Cutie was now very drunk. She gave me her colourful stripey handbag to look after whilst she went to dance. I think it quite suited me.
Then I bumped into Smiley Surf-Shop Gal. She told me I was brill, which was nice. I said that I thought she thought that I was "frightening" and "creepy". She told me that was only when I made jokes about [censored]. Then she told me that Big-Eyed Irish Cutie wasn't good enough for me. When asked to elaborate, she told me how she'd been a total bitch to some of her mates, and so on.
Lemonsquash : Even assuming she isn't good enough for me, I mean... What other options do I have ? It kinda begs the question - who is good enough ?
Smiley Surf-Shop Gal : Me.
Surprise.
I really wasn't expecting that. I managed not to give any sort of committed response. After all, things were just starting to kick off with Big-Eyed Irish Cutie. Right ?
Well...
I went off for a wee. Big-Eyed Irish Cutie ran after me, and asked where I was going. I told her. She asked if I was going to wee on her handbag. I told her that I'd planned to rotate it round to the back, and she needn't worry. We got to talking. It came round to Thursday night. We retraced the conversation we'd had; partly because I'd been too drunk to remember it. We got to the bit where I offered to kiss her, but it wasn't the right time or place. I asked her if on a beach, by a bonfire, beneath a full moon would be the right place. There was a pause. She told me that it wouldn't. She said that she did really like me, but she'd just come out of a relationship, and was trying to be cautious. Would it be alright if we just hung out together for a while, got to know each other a little better, and maybe - who knows - sometime things might kick off ? I said that it would. I was actually bastard disappointed.
I was quite looking forward to maybe Having A Girlfriend, and it had looked very much like it was going that way. But - of course - things have a tendency to look easy, whereas they are in fact unnecessarily complicated. Boo. And, due to feeling obligated elsewhere, I blew Smiley Surf-Shop Gal out. I kinda wish the two conversations had happened the other way round.
So should I try and snap up Smiley ? Or dangle for Irish in the hope that, at some point, it will bring fruit ? I have a foreboding feeling that I'm gonna end up with neither of them. But 'tis the way of the lemon.
|
|
|
To date 22 Comment(s)
TrackBack-URL
(2.8.04 11:40)
go for smiley - let Irish see what she's missing.
|
(2.8.04 11:44)
Yes, I vote for Smiley too. When girls advise you that seemingly lovely other girls are actually evil, it's usually a good idea to take it on board.
|
(2.8.04 11:58)
Golly, you are becoming hot property. I would follow the ladies advice on this, being a guy I would probably make the same mistakes as you - seems to me Irish is playing some funny games.
*awaiting the next beach romp*
|
(2.8.04 17:00)
Bollocks.
I just wrote a really long and inspired reply and then hit 'cancel' instead of reply.
Bollocks.
abbreviated version:
Don't settle for a girl that may fancy you enough to flirt but not to commit, that's not enough to make her 'girlfriend'.
Choose a girl you really Like, Like with a capital L.
If you had a choice between Irish and Surf girl you'd probably choose surf girl, who you would have blown out for Nooma; and they all seem to think it's okay to keep you on the shelf for if/when they make up their minds.
If they're not ready for relationships then get a snog out of one of/all of them, say thank you very much, and find someone better with less flimflammery.
xxx
|
(3.8.04 11:10)
Of course solis is right. I'm going to tell you what I really think which may make me sound silly and old, but I'm silly and old, so I'm going to tell you what I really think.
I think that there is nothing wrong with enjoying friendships and flirtships with different girls, hey, whatever girls you like. I don't think a friendship or a flirtship or a dateship should exclude other ships, I think it's a mistake to get into exclusive ships until you know which ship you really like.
There of course is a problem with this. The problem is that you can't lie about it to the other ships in the fleet, and that's hard. You have to keep things honest, you keep things consistent with what is in your heart (you aren't snogging someone just to "get some" you are snogging because you really like the person.) Oh, and here's the hard part--the more ships you're on, the less on them you are. One thing for some kissy face or some snugglystuff, but if you're feeling strongly enough about someone to have sex with her (you wouldn't do it just to get some, remember?) it is highly unlikely you are feeling that same intensity about the other girls, so you back off from them. And that, my friend, is the point at which I have shown myself to be me.
So, which girl do you like? How much? More than one? When you figure that out and act consistently with the answers, then you will be a wonderful sweet any girl is lucky to have you lemonsquash.
Which is what I always think when I read your blog.
|
(3.8.04 12:09)
Hello again. Blimey, sage advice all round.
Heidi and Ms Splog - I would tend to agree, but
* Update *
I got Nooma to do some digging for me. She and Smiley are best buds of old. Last night she had a bit of a chat, and apparently Smiley doesn't remember any of this. I didn't think she seemed that drunk, but maybe she hides it well. Anyway, she told Nooma that she shouldn't have said that, and that wasn't really what she felt. So she gets ruled out. Despite being best chums, Nooma concedes that Smiley is inconsistent and changeable. Oh well.
Which brings me round to Solarium and Well-Balanced's question : who does lemonsquash really Like ? Answer : Nooma. Despite the fact that she has kinda become my Best New Pal. Various folk have noted that we are ideally suited, and I'm not arguing. But she's taken, as we all know. Gah. And fnurg.
Mind you, I went to a black-tie occasion last night, and saw Irish. She was looking foxy. She can't remember anything about Saturday night either. She showed me the enormous bruise on her hip to prove she was mashed. We may go to a pub quiz tonight. I am hoping for snugglystuff, and no flimflammery.
And Daxy - why can't girls in Real Life be like The Girls Of 20Six™ ?
|
(3.8.04 12:21)
Gosh. These girls do seem to have the flimsiest of memories. A more cynical person than I might think they were using the good old 'I-Can't-Remember-Saying-That-Because-I-Was-A-Bit-Tipsy' trick. But I don't think that. I'm not a cynic, see?
|
(3.8.04 12:44)
Spot on Norah. Not that I've ever used that excuse.....
|
(3.8.04 12:47)
Oh god, me neither pog. In fact, I don't think any girl ever has used it.
|
(3.8.04 12:53)
There is a certain dubiosity about it, yes. Which is - of course - allayed by the fact that no girl has ever even considered using that excuse in the history of mankind.
|
(3.8.04 14:38)
gosh, do girls really say "I can't remember saying that because I was a bit tipsy"? I'm very surprised. Really
|
(3.8.04 15:33)
Nobody I know says that, H ....
Well, not in quite those words, anyway.
|
(3.8.04 15:42)
Mr. Lemonsquash, I think you need to hang out with women who aren't stupid. You're not stupid, why would you waste your time with women who have so little going on in their heads that to enjoy themselves they have to eradicated any sense they do have with alcohol or some other substance?
I'm not saying drinking is evil, or that a buzzzzzz isn't fun, but if you are bestowing lemonsquash sweetness on the world, the world should be sensible enough to know it. Stupid girls, tsk tsk. They shouldn't be leading you down their path of delusion. Although as others have noted, "OOooo I was SO drunk" is a cheap excuse for keeping you off-balance.
If you really like Nooma best, and we all know it, take your time, looking around while you do. Nooma may become unattached or you will meet someone who is as special as she is.
Oh, my, two long sermons in a row. I owe you a joke to make up for this. I will proceed to try to find my sense of humor again.
|
(4.8.04 01:02)
Okay, here is the joke that I owe you, don't stop me if you've heard it before, because I'm not sure a replacement joke will come my way.
.
A man was having a drink in a bar atop a tall building, you know, one of those top story of the hotel type bars, anyway..
He was sitting at a table near an open window, enjoying his drink and another man came up to the window and jumped out. The first man was shocked, and even more so when the jumper came right back in the window again. Sitting at the table man: How did you do that?
Jumper: The wind currents here are so strong that you just get blown back in.
Jumper guy walks away, sits on a stool at the bar, orders another drink.
Sitting by the window guy looks, shrugs, and jumps out the window for his windy thrill. And of course plummets into a splat on the pavement below.
Bartender to jump out/back in guy: You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you drink.
.
Sorry lemonsquash, it's a lot funnier when I do the silly voices and gesture a lot.
Of course, now we're even.
BA
|
(4.8.04 10:05)
*Groans*.
Although use of the word 'splat' is always appreciated.
Expect to be 'lemon-tangoed' on one of your posts in the not-too-distant future. Just as soon as I learn a joke that won't get me kicked off 20Six.
|
Valium
(20.12.11 11:57)
When some one searches for his vital thing, thus he/she desires to be available that in detail, therefore that thing is maintained over here. Valium
|
|
