...out of a suitcase for a month or so. At the moment I'm with my parents in deepest Welsh Wales. I went out with The Walrus to a pub quiz yesterday evening. It was entirely unlike my quiz. It was a league match, the questions were answered verbally, and I was the youngest participant by a good decade. We picked up a chap from our team on the way, who proceed to reel off a list of folk who had transcended the departure lounge in the last week. It's a different world.

After a very narrow away defeat, we went back to our home pub for last orders. I was forced to bite my tongue as a couple of corpulent locals vomited some bilious tabloid opinions like they were their own. We had a tirade concerning foreigners being forced to adopt our customs, which stemmed from "And now they're going to ban tinsel, because Christmas decorations offend the muslims and whatnot. It's ridiculous!" So they're going to ban tinsel are they ? In the same way that those filthy slug-eating shitsticks on the continent took away our Prawn Cocktail crisps ? The cunts! But hats off to the tabloids for achieving almost total proliferation of their insidious xenophobic hatemessage. If I got to send anything to Room 101, I know what I'd put in first.

Now that I've got that off my chest, I have enough breathing space to tell you that, other than that, I had a very pleasant and jolly evening. Hooray!