...been up to in my brief period of absence, I hear no-one ask ? Well, I'm going to tell you anyway :
- Shortly before I left, I got given tons of presents by the folk at The Rag. They'd individually wrapped every present, and made me open them all in front of them. Amongst other things there was a T-shirt, some books (one entitled 'How To Be Idle', which I can't help but feel is surplus to requirements), and a complete gin and tonic kit - including a bottle of Beefeater, a curly-wurly straw, and an individually wrapped lemon. This unexpected display of effort and genuine thoughtfulness very nearly touched my cold, stony heart.
- My cooked foot got a lot worse. After a couple of days, it looked like a bubbly Freddy Krueger foot (I don't mean the type of chipper Freddy that featured in such films as 'Freddy Goes To Camp' and 'Freddy Saves Christmas'); and on one day I could hardly walk, and it felt like someone was stabbing it. It's been almost two weeks, and people are still grossed out by it now. If you think I'm exaggerating, I'll post a link to a photo of it; although I seriously recommend that you only follow it if you're of fairly strong constitution :
Be repulsed here
This meant that I couldn't smurf for a while. And when I finally braved it into the water, most of the skin came off my foot. Eeeew.
- I am going to become a columnist for a local production company with a news-based website. This potentially means that I might get paid for writing, but would also limit my blog output. Oi - there was really no need to heave such an audible sigh of relief just then. I have feelings too, you know. Buried deep. Somewhere. I seem to have lost the map, though.
- I went to see an Elvis impersonator in one of our local pubs. This was extra-special as, not only did he look nothing like Elvis (he didn't even have 'burns), but he hardly sang any Elvis songs. I'm really glad that I went to see an ordinary-looking bloke warbling 'Angels' by Robbie Williams in a pseudo-Elvis stylee. It was sublime in its shitness.
- I have been bumming around and smurfing a lot. Being unemployed is excellent. I cannot recommend it highly enough. And if I get hungry ? I'll eat soil.
By the way, I only have web access via dial-up at the moment, so I may be cack at responding to comments, and am being unwillingly sparing in reading other people's blogs at the mo, as it is frustratingly slow. In the unlikely event that you are missing my input, do bear with me. I should be on broadband soon; although I'm not sure if I'll be blogging any more then, as I have a warehousefull of pornography to catch up on.
